Post by admin on Nov 3, 2006 12:45:10 GMT
OK usually I detest FWD emails but this one is brilliant so I had to share it.
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively
well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still
feel
this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.
Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you
have
the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is
only
increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity
pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite
havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not
productive.
Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the
flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life
would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy
reruns.
You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet
Coke--yet you haven't peed once.
Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else
you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and
has
given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but
that
can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the
ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper
cars.
Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your
ass is
in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during
the
day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.
Five S tar Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying
the
employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every
pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the
corners
of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the
remnants of
the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so
your
tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the
hell
the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to
take a
dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol- ented fluid with
a
rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to
be to
splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good
about
right now...
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively
well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still
feel
this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.
Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you
have
the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is
only
increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity
pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite
havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not
productive.
Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the
flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life
would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy
reruns.
You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet
Coke--yet you haven't peed once.
Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else
you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and
has
given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but
that
can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the
ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper
cars.
Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your
ass is
in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during
the
day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.
Five S tar Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying
the
employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every
pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the
corners
of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the
remnants of
the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so
your
tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the
hell
the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to
take a
dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol- ented fluid with
a
rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to
be to
splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good
about
right now...